morning..already?

I will never understand how kids wake up with all this energy! i think they must steal it from us, because i am always tired recently, while he is bouncing off the walls! This is his fathers weekend, so that means i spend my day cleaning, and packing. I know it will be another hard time for my son. I don't want to bad mouth his father, but i will say, he doesn't see him enough for this to be easy for him..He is lucky if he see's him one weekend a month. Forget he only lives 15 mins away from us, and could come before or after work, or on days off. Anyways..moving on because i could go on and on, on this subject.
Today is April 1st..this is Autism awareness month!! Please light it up blue today and everyday this month to help show Support of Autism! Light it up blue If you dont know what it is, the link is before this. As a mom, who has a son being tested for autism and friends who have children with autism, i think it is extremely important more people learn about it. every 1 in 120 children have autism..staggering number! So please show your support!

A day in the life

People always ask me, where you ready to be a parent? Is it hard being a single mother to a boy? And my answer is..YES, to both. I always knew i wanted to be a mother. I felt it in my bones that i wanted to have kids. But never in any of my day dreams did i see myself being a SINGLE mother. I always swore, "when i have kids, i don't want them to go threw all i went threw growing up, without a father" But you don't get to pick how your future goes. Nor can you make someone want to stay with you. So two months after my son was born, i became a single mother. It is honestly, the hardest job i have ever done. And yes, there are days i envy my friends who have kids and have a partner to help them. i find that green monster rearing its ugly head, as i struggle 24/7 to do it all alone, with really no social life, or even extra money to attempt a social life, and they go out to dinner, go out with friends, and even take turns taking care of their children.
Don't get me wrong, i love my life, and wouldn't trade it for anything. but there are days i wish i could turn to someone and say..ok, your turn! Especially recently. My son is 19 months old. And he throws tantrums from sun up to sun down now. And we have been having alot of stressful things going on recently. He had an MRI, he is going to be tested for Autism, and he is now going to speech. Some days im so worn down, i can't even cry. So i thought, i love to write. so why not start a blog, so i can reach out to others who may be going threw things i am. So here is to hoping this will become my relief. My outlet. my moments in motherhood